Valentine's Day Preparations for Men -- Part 1

 This post is mainly for the male species, which seem to be romantically challenged, especially during this time of year!  What I am referring to men is Valentines Day!

 

Now I write as one who has been caught by surprise probably 23 years out of the 25 years we have been married.  Now last year, I did it right!  It didn't turn out exactly as planned, but my wife appreciated the time and effort I had put into and a cold sweat.  Now the other 23 years, while let's just say I broke out in hives and a cold sweat at about 5:30 p.m. on my drive home.  So I would pull into Wal-Marts (oh!  I have a funny story to tell you about Valentine's Day and Wal-Mart later) run inside and be surrounded by men who were also sweating and add a blank deer-in-the-headlights look wandering around the picked clean flower cooler and the card aisle.  Then at about 6:30 p.m. I joined in a line of men marching like ants  to the tool aisle.  We all that no other man had ever thought about.  It was a genius idea!  We would buy a radial arm saw or some other expensive tool (sometimes even a vacuum cleaner!)  And we would give it to her with a card that promised her that we would make her a new jewelry case.  If this is starting to sound familiar to you, then read on.

 

Note: here's the funny Wal-Mart and Valentine's Day story.  One-year our local Wal-Mart advertised a drive through wedding ceremony where we could renew our vows and they would give us a flower and a bottle of sparkling cider.  Well apparently there were more rednecks in our area then Wal-Mart had planned for.  The line of cars snaked a ball the way around Wal-Mart and it was moving so slow that you could have your tires rotated while you waited (of course, cheerfully telling your wife that rotating your tires is a good valentines gift).  Finally, Wal-Mart gave up and invited all of us to get out of our cars and go to the "chapel" which was nothing more than one of those cheesy Wal-Mart tents.  The wind was blowing and it was a 40° rain.  I tried to surprise my wife, so I told her to dress formally.  Needless to say, I spent the night by the fire by myself!  Two weeks later, my wife gave me a late Valentine's Day gift.  It was a T-shirt that read "Bury my husband at so I can visit his grave site every week".

 

All right, so what do we do about this Valentine's Day dilemma?  the word is "prepare".  Today is January 29 -- we have 15 days to prepare.  That might seem like a lot, but this year Valentine's Day falls on a Saturday and if we plan just right we can have a romantic weekend that will really surprise her.

 

So how do we plan Valentine's Day?  Well, let's start with the obvious (in other words that which we never do).  Let's ask our wife a question something like this:" if you could plan the perfect Valentine's Day, what would it look like?" Now here comes the tricky part, we have to listen real closely.  Pretend like you are making a $1 million deal with a Japanese person and you don't speak Japanese.  You have to listen that close!  And listen between the lines.  Don't settle for an answer like "I don't know... " See, first of all, you're catching her off guard.  So ask another question, something like, "Well you know Valentine's Day falls on a Saturday this year".  Now, if you already have some ideas, see if any of those match hers.  But under no circumstance do you even hint at your idea.  And don't fall for that trap where she says, "Well I don't know, what do you have in mind? "  Just keep asking questions and keep listening.

 

Here are some things you want to listen for or you may even have to read between the lines.  Does she mention something romantic like dinner, dancing, going away to a bed and breakfast for the weekend (if that is one of your ideas, you better start booking it now before all the prime places are booked).  Or does she mention something that requires some activity going dancing were going to dinner and a movie?  Does she mention anything about it being a full weekend?  Is there any mention of jewelry or a night gown?

 

Okay just to recap: starting preparations for Valentine's Day can be broken down to this: ask, ask, ask , listen, listen, listen and watch out for any traps.  If she mentions anything that sounds like something you would like (i.e. a chainsaw) or something that would require her to work (i.e. like one of those handy dandy new mops they have out), that's the kind of trap I'm talking about.

 

All right, follow me for suggestions over the next few days, and good luck with the listening!